Episode 12: Sin Vs Weakness

Uncategorized Apr 04, 2021

So far on the podcast, I’ve taught you a lot of the science behind habit-reformation and how your brain is working. But in this episode, I’m talking about your pornography habit from the perspective that really matters: God’s.

One thing I see with clients and listeners who are members of the LDS Church is that they’re told from a young age that porn is evil and they need to avoid it at all costs. So then, if you do start watching pornography, you inevitably feel terrible because what you’re doing is a sin in the eyes of Heavenly Father. And this is where the principle of Sin Vs Weakness comes in.

Join me on the podcast this week to discover the differences between sins and weaknesses in the eyes of God. And when you understand this difference, you will be in a much better position to decide whether your habit is really a sin, or whether it’s just an area of human weakness that every single one of us experiences in some form or another.


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Episode 11: What to Look Out For When You Stop Viewing Porn

Uncategorized Mar 30, 2021

How do you imagine you’ll feel when you finally quit your porn habit? You might romanticize being on the other side, feeling amazing, committed, and whole… but I’m here to warn you that this isn’t quite how it’s going to go.

Something that might catch you by surprise is that you are going to feel terrible. It might be unsettling to know that it’s not going to be rainbows and daisies when you stop, but don’t be scared or disheartened because I’m showing you how accepting this is the path to getting to the other side.

Tune in this week to discover what will happen when you quit porn, and how to create a life where porn isn’t a temptation anymore. Yes, it’s 100% possible, and I’m laying out what is required of you to finally get to this place.

Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me.

What You'll Learn from this Episode:

  • What happens when you...
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Episode 10: Am I Addicted?

accidted addiction overcome Mar 24, 2021

In my experience of working at addiction recovery programs and the research I’ve done in this realm, the term “addicted” or “addiction” has a long laundry list of definitions. But what I have found, especially in LDS culture, is the use of this label in a way that isn’t helpful and is in fact harmful to us. 

Sure, there are chemical processes going on in our brains when we view pornography, but that doesn’t have to mean you’re addicted or powerless. I’m inviting you to question the types of actions you take when you believe you’re “addicted” to porn, and how you want to use this label for yourself going forward.

The truth is you always get to decide how you interpret yourself and your life. I’m sharing some ways I’ve intentionally chosen to change my beliefs about myself and the results I’ve gotten from that, and I’m asking you this week, if you decided being “addicted”...

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Episode 9: Situational Joy

How many times have you said this phrase in your life? “I’ll finally be happy when…” fill in the blank. So many of us are living unfulfilled lives, waiting to feel good so we can get to that destination we have in our minds, or until that life event we want so badly happens, or so you can finally quit your porn habit.

But the reality of living this way is there’s always something else to do or another destination to reach. You don’t have to wait to feel good or for your situation to be ideal for you to take action towards a life you want, and I’m showing you how today.

If you currently believe you have to feel bad to quit, or that you can’t be happy or proud or confident until you quit the habit, listen in. I’m showing you what situational joy means, how it’s holding you back, and some of the biggest reasons we believe we have to wait for situational joy to change our lives.

Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I...

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Episode 8: Fact vs Story

This week’s topic is one that can be life-changing in every single area of your life if you stick with me here. So many of us aren’t used to questioning our stories and thoughts about something. We just believe them to be true, and there couldn’t be anything more detrimental, especially in the realm of the porn habit.

You’ve likely had thoughts floating around in your mind about having watched porn “forever,” that you’ll never be able to stop, and what this means about you. Maybe you believe it means you’re not good enough, or not worthy, or that there’s something wrong with you, but these are all just stories that are completely optional.

Tune in this week as I show you the difference between facts and a story, and how your long-held beliefs don’t make something true. This can be a really tricky shift to understand if you’ve never practiced questioning your thoughts, but I’m inviting you to see the power...

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Episode 7: Stop Fighting and Start Surrendering

When it comes to your urges to view pornography and your desire to stop this habit, it can feel like a fight or battle within you as you try to push or force the urge out. What I’m offering to you this week might seem contrary to the process of overcoming pornography, but I promise that it will actually be the key to your success.

The truth is that your urges are completely harmless, and thinking of them as a demon within you that you have to defeat is only making quitting harder. So, what if we invited those urges in and surrendered to them instead?

Join me this week as I show you how there is no need to fight your desire to view pornography. Surrendering to these emotions not only teaches you a better way to deal with the full human experience, but it also helps you identify what might need closer inspection under the surface.

Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me.

What You'll Learn from this...

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Episode 6: All or Nothing Mindset

Some common thoughts that my clients come to me with sound something along the lines of, “Well, I already looked today, so I might as well keep looking,” or, “I already messed up this week, so I’ll try again on Monday.” So many people believe messing up means their progress has been undone, but I’m offering an alternative to you today.

These types of thoughts are the archetype of the all or nothing mindset, and the truth is it’s hindering your success. If you’re measuring your progress by counting the number of days you’ve made it sober, and you slip up, and you take it to mean you’re back to square one, I’ve got good news today because it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Listen in this week as I show you the detriments of all or nothing thinking, and how failing is part and parcel of the journey of learning to quit viewing pornography. I’m showing you why messing up doesn’t mean your progress...

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Episode 5: Shame Spirals

overcome shamespirals Feb 16, 2021

One of the first things I discovered and learned on my coaching journey was about the feeling of shame and how to combat it. It’s an emotion that so many people believe is useful, especially when you’re trying to overcome pornography, but this week, I’m showing you how it can be incredibly destructive.

Many of my clients come to me with thoughts that run along the lines of believing that there’s something wrong with them, or that this human weakness of theirs makes them worthy of feeling ashamed. But I want to offer to you that there are so many more emotions that are far more helpful than getting trapped in a shame spiral.

Tune in this week as I show you why combatting shame is the first step to overcoming pornography and how to start doing this. The shame spiral keeps you hiding from yourself and God, from reaching out for the support you need, and I’m inviting you to see why shame is simply no longer required.

Ready to commit to quitting...

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Episode 4: Stop Fearing Urges

When it comes to trying to overcome pornography, so many of my clients come to me absolutely terrified of their urges. They believe they won’t be able to stop the habit if their urges show up, but our urges are just sensations in our bodies that we don’t have to indulge in, and I’m showing you how today.

The truth is that our urges are just like toddlers throwing a tantrum. They aren’t dangerous, they won’t hurt you, and they’re not a problem. We don’t have to push them away, run away from them, or try to silence them. In fact, I’m encouraging you to start welcoming them in as much as you can.

Join me this week as I show you how to stop fearing urges, and how learning to sit with them is the key to finding confidence. Like any new skill, there will be failures along the way, but when you aren’t scared of them, believing they’re evil or bad in some way, I promise, you’ll start seeing a new way to approach them that...

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Episode 3: Fixing the Root: Identity

In this episode, we’re diving into your identity as a pornography viewer. Fixing the root of your pornography habit requires taking a closer look at what you believe about who you are right now, and making this shift is going to be everything.

If you currently see yourself as someone who struggles with pornography, as someone who desires it and can’t get it under control, you will always be this person. Identity change doesn’t happen overnight, but if we don’t consciously work on changing it, our life circumstances will always determine it for us.

Listen in this week as I show you how to begin the process of transforming your identity. This work is so life-changing, not only in terms of overcoming this habit, but in every area of your life. I’m guiding you through some of the most common limiting beliefs that keep people stuck, and how to start letting them go to up-level who you currently are.

As a celebration for the launch of the show, I am giving...

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