I’ll preface this by letting you all know that I am not an iceberg expert. However, I do know that we only see 10% of an iceberg, while the rest of it lives out of sight. And the same is true of your pornography habit. There is always so much more going on that isn’t immediately obvious, so if we only work on that 10% we can see, there is always more waiting to come to the surface.
There are always emotions lurking deep inside of us that are responsible for the things we don’t like in our lives. So in this episode, I want to shed some light on how you can address these unresolved thoughts and feelings, and ultimately break them down so you can create the lasting change you want to see.
Join me on the podcast this week to discover what is lying beneath the surface of your porn habit. I’m sharing the emotions I see coming up for my clients that they never wanted to see were at play. And once you can get clear on what’s causing the behavior you...
If you’re someone who feels shame when you find yourself wanting to view pornography, this episode is for you. So many of my clients feel guilt and other negative emotions around their sexual urges. So, this week, we’re unpacking what these urges are, what they mean, and most importantly, what they don’t mean.
This happens most with people who grew up in a household where the topic of sex was taboo, but it can happen to anyone. The truth is that the desire to view pornography isn’t good or bad in and of itself. So, if you’re experiencing shame in this area, this idea of physiology versus morality is exactly what you need to hear.
Join me on the podcast this week to discover why we should never feel negative emotion around our sexual urges. I’m sharing why these impulses are a matter of physiology, not morality, and how to neutralize the urge in your mind, so you can deal with it in a way that feels more aligned with how you want to live your...
So far on the podcast, I’ve taught you a lot of the science behind habit-reformation and how your brain is working. But in this episode, I’m talking about your pornography habit from the perspective that really matters: God’s.
One thing I see with clients and listeners who are members of the LDS Church is that they’re told from a young age that porn is evil and they need to avoid it at all costs. So then, if you do start watching pornography, you inevitably feel terrible because what you’re doing is a sin in the eyes of Heavenly Father. And this is where the principle of Sin Vs Weakness comes in.
Join me on the podcast this week to discover the differences between sins and weaknesses in the eyes of God. And when you understand this difference, you will be in a much better position to decide whether your habit is really a sin, or whether it’s just an area of human weakness that every single one of us experiences in some form or another.
Something happens when you quit viewing porn that might catch you by surprise.
When we quit, we expect to feel great, motivated, confident.
In reality, when you quit porn, you will feel terrible. All of the stuff that you have been avoiding and buffering from will come to the forefront of your mind. You will feel all of the negative emotions that you’ve been avoiding.
In today’s episode, I talk about what to do when that happens. Bring a notebook and take some notes!
In today's episode of Overcome Pornography for Good we talk about the label addiction.
My personal opinion is that we use this term too liberally when it comes to porn, especially in LDS culture.
Join me in the episode to learn the criteria I use when deciding if someone is addicted or not and how you can apply it to yourself.
See you there!
In today's episode of Overcome Pornography for Good we talk about Situational Joy.
Situational joy is waiting to feel joy until our situations are ideal. Situational joy shows up when we think, "i'll feel good once I lose the weight", "I'll feel good once I get the promotion", "I'll feel good once I get married", and of course, "I'll feel good once I quit pornography".
There are a few problems with this way of thinking.
The best way to quit porn is to practice feeling what you would...
In today's episode of Overcome Pornography for Good, we talk about the difference between fact and story.
This is important, because the facts of your life do not determine your results. The story that you tell yourself determines your results.
We dive into what this means specifically in regards to pornography.
If you want a different life, you need to tell yourself a different story.
I’ll teach you how to do that in this episode.
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me:
In today's episode we talk about all or nothing mindset. This is one of the most common things I see with my clients.
All or nothing mindset looks like, “I already messed up today, so I am not going to try for the rest of the day”, “I can’t start until i’m 100% sure I can do this”, and by counting progress as number of days without pornography instead of counting progress as number of urges processed.
In reality, quitting pornography is like learning any new skill. Failure does not keep us from quitting, it teaches us and helps us to become stronger as long as we learn from it.
You will love this episode.
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
In today's episode we talk about why surrendering is such an important part of the process to quitting porn.
I'm not talking about surrendering as in accepting defeat or accepting that pornography has power over you. I'm not talking about surrendering as in giving up. I'm talking about surrendering to the experience of being a human.
We typically want to fight our urges to view pornography. Fighting is a sign of willpower, and willpower is never a long-term solution to quitting any habit, especially pornography. You don't need to fight anymore. Fighting is exhausting.
Join me in today's episode to learn how to stop fighting and start surrendering. This will make your journey to quitting pornography much easier.
In today's episode we talk about shame spirals.
It's important to stay connected to your emotions because your emotions cause your actions. Shame is not a useful emotion when it comes to quitting pornography or other habits. Shame always causes you to hide and avoid. Many people believe that shame is a motivator, when in fact it is the opposite. It is a de-motivater. You can not hate yourself into change.
Shame comes from thoughts, not from looking at pornography. Shame comes from thoughts that have the underlying message of, "there is something wrong with me".
We find ourselves in shame spirals when we 1. thing something is wrong with me 2. feel shame 3. hide and avoid. 4. view pornography to escape the shame --> and then starting the cycle all over.
Join me in todays episode to learn how to combat this shame cycle!
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your...