We generally have two competing desires fighting for attention in our brain. We have our present desire, which is what we want in the moment, and there’s our future desire, which is what we want in the long term. So when it comes to pornography, maybe your present desire is the urge to view porn, even though you know you don’t want to be at the mercy of that urge forever.
The present desire is you wanting to escape pain and experience pleasure and excitement, and the future desire is you wanting to control your emotional wellbeing and live in integrity with your values. The good news is having these competing desires doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. But if you want to start listening to your future desire more often, you’re going to need a compelling reason to quit viewing pornography.
Tune in this week to discover how to give less attention to your present desires, so you can fulfill your future desire of overcoming pornography for good....
When my clients first come to me, they believe they need to be perfect right away in everything they do to quit porn. This all-or-nothing mindset is one I see very often in my work, and the truth is it’s not effective.
This week, I’m introducing you to the compound effect. It teaches that instead of having to move mountains every day in your attempt to quit porn, we can instead take small incremental steps consistently over time, and this is what will lead to your success.
Tune in this week as I show you why an all-or-nothing mindset stagnates your progress, and how minuscule improvements over time are more powerful than you might think. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be courageous enough to take it one day at a time, and I’m guiding you through it.
I have amazing news. If you want to take the work I’m sharing on the podcast deeper, I’m running a masterclass called How to Quit Viewing Pornography Even if You’ve...
When we feel the urge for anything we wish we didn’t want, like viewing pornography, or eating something we know we shouldn’t if we’re on a diet, it’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings we experience. Not only do we feel the discomfort, but we see it as a huge problem.
But the truth is that our urges aren’t actually a problem. In fact, on this episode, I’m encouraging you to welcome it in with open arms. Yes, you heard that right.
Join me this week as I lay out the 3 things we can do when we feel an urge. I’m showing you how two of those options have you either acting outside of your value system, or furthering you from where you ultimately want to be, and how the third option available to you is the key to handling any urge with confidence and ease.
I have amazing news. If you want to take the work I’m sharing on the podcast deeper, I’m running a masterclass called How to Quit Viewing...
I’m a little nervous about this week’s episode because what I want to share is controversial. But even if you find yourself immediately disagreeing with me after reading the title of this podcast episode, I want you to stick with me.
You might have been sold the message that your sexual urges are from Satan. They’re coming from the adversary who’s trying to get you to do something bad, your urges are something you have to fight against, and it’s an evil part of you that needs to be destroyed. But I want to offer that this simply isn’t true.
Join me this week as I lay out the 3 biggest problems with believing Satan is in charge of your sexual urges. Your urges aren’t dangerous or evil, and trying to overcome porn with this framework is not effective, so I’m showing you where your urges actually come from, and why this will feel so much more freeing as you work to understand your over desire for pornography.
I have amazing...
Shame is a foundational topic that we talk about all the time in my program, but it’s been a while since I’ve dedicated a whole podcast episode to it. Helping my clients wiggle out of shame is the very first thing we work on because when you’re stuck in it, it’s literally impossible to do the work to quit.
If you think back to the societal and familial messages you’ve received about what it means about you if you watch porn, how did they make you feel? Did you feel more able to quit? Did it fuel motivation? I’m guessing that’s a hard no, and this week, I’m showing you how these thoughts often actually lead to more porn use.
Listen in this week as I outline some shame-inducing thoughts about porn that you might be believing right now, but that simply aren’t facts. For so many people, shame is the root of their porn use, and I’m inviting you to notice how you show up when you’re drowning in shame, and...
Last week, we talked a lot about the lower brain, the reward system that it thrives off of, and how you’re not at the mercy of your urges. And this week, I want to introduce you to the higher brain, and how you can start using it to help you overcome pornography or anything else you might be struggling with.
The higher brain, your prefrontal cortex, is the key to keeping the lower brain in check. This is the part of your brain that doesn’t want to view porn and wants to spend the time doing something else. And so this week, I’m showing you how to leverage your higher brain so you can make the decisions that will move you forward.
Tune in to discover the difference between your lower brain and your higher brain, and how the two of them interact. Your lower brain seems powerful, but it’s nothing compared to your higher brain, and I’m showing you three tools you can start using right now to override your lower brain’s urges.
I have amazing news. If...
In doing the work that I share over here on the podcast, you really have to understand what’s going on in your brain and how to manage your urges. And so, I’m taking the next couple of episodes to go into detail about where desire comes from and why you desire pornography in the first place.
There is so much going on in your brain, especially chemically. So I’m going in-depth this week into the reward system your brain has come up with, and why pornography is something your brain really wants, even though you feel resistance on some level. Understanding this is one of the key tools that’s going to help you quit watching porn for good.
Join me on the podcast this week to discover exactly what is going on in your brain when you desire porn. Contrary to what you might believe, wanting to watch porn doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your brain, and just because you want it now and you’re struggling to control your urges, it...
So many of my clients come to me and they’re all up in their heads thinking that their beliefs are facts. And when it comes to quitting porn, if you believe that you can’t do it, that is enough to keep you stuck in the habit for as long as you hold that belief. But it doesn’t have to be that way, I have a solution for you in this episode.
A Belief Plan is a pretty simple concept, and while it is a bit of hard work, it is the key to intentionally creating new beliefs for yourself. So, whatever your current beliefs are, as long as you can recognize that they’re just thoughts that you’ve held for a long time, you can do the work to change them. You just have to decide what you want to believe about yourself.
Tune in this week to discover how to make a Belief Plan, so you can start to see what’s possible for you. I have faith in your ability to quit pornography, and by the end of this episode, I hope you’ll see that believing in yourself...
I’ve personally been going through a lot of inner turmoil and emotional pain lately, and it got me thinking about the beauty and power of pain. Viewing pornography is an outlet for many people to avoid the pain they’re experiencing in their lives, but it’s one that often just creates more of it.
So this week, I’m inviting you to see the power of learning to feel pain. There’s often this misconception that we have to be stronger than the pain we’re feeling to overcome it, but in truth, this belief only keeps you stuck in avoidance and buffering, in this case, with porn.
Listen in this week as I show you how going through your pain is a beautiful act, but it’s one that is not easy. I’m encouraging you to stop running from your pain, and instead, to be open to the truth that healthy individuals feel pain and use it to heal and empower themselves to create change.
I have amazing news. If you want to take the work I’m sharing on...
Something I hear from so many of my clients when it comes to looking at pornography is “I can’t.” They tell themselves they can’t look at porn, but the energy behind it suggests they would if they could. This might even sound familiar to you.
Telling yourself “I can’t” might be innocent and it may work for some of you, but such restrictive energy could be hindering your progress. You are an adult, and you can do whatever you want, but there is a better option to choose to think than “I can’t” when you want to stop doing something.
In this episode, I’m sharing the problem with thinking “I can’t” and showing you how to reframe your mindset to feel more empowered. If you’re having a hard time committing to giving up pornography, looking at your beliefs is a great place to start. So this week, I’m showing you how to challenge your thoughts and beliefs and replace them with ones that...