Episode 36: Lower vs. Higher Brain

Uncategorized Sep 20, 2021

Last week, we talked a lot about the lower brain, the reward system that it thrives off of, and how you’re not at the mercy of your urges. And this week, I want to introduce you to the higher brain, and how you can start using it to help you overcome pornography or anything else you might be struggling with.

The higher brain, your prefrontal cortex, is the key to keeping the lower brain in check. This is the part of your brain that doesn’t want to view porn and wants to spend the time doing something else. And so this week, I’m showing you how to leverage your higher brain so you can make the decisions that will move you forward.

Tune in to discover the difference between your lower brain and your higher brain, and how the two of them interact. Your lower brain seems powerful, but it’s nothing compared to your higher brain, and I’m showing you three tools you can start using right now to override your lower brain’s urges.


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Episode 35: Why We Desire

Uncategorized Sep 13, 2021

In doing the work that I share over here on the podcast, you really have to understand what’s going on in your brain and how to manage your urges. And so, I’m taking the next couple of episodes to go into detail about where desire comes from and why you desire pornography in the first place.

There is so much going on in your brain, especially chemically. So I’m going in-depth this week into the reward system your brain has come up with, and why pornography is something your brain really wants, even though you feel resistance on some level. Understanding this is one of the key tools that’s going to help you quit watching porn for good. 

Join me on the podcast this week to discover exactly what is going on in your brain when you desire porn. Contrary to what you might believe, wanting to watch porn doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your brain, and just because you want it now and you’re struggling to control your urges, it...

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Episode 34: Belief Plan

Uncategorized Sep 06, 2021

So many of my clients come to me and they’re all up in their heads thinking that their beliefs are facts. And when it comes to quitting porn, if you believe that you can’t do it, that is enough to keep you stuck in the habit for as long as you hold that belief. But it doesn’t have to be that way, I have a solution for you in this episode.

A Belief Plan is a pretty simple concept, and while it is a bit of hard work, it is the key to intentionally creating new beliefs for yourself. So, whatever your current beliefs are, as long as you can recognize that they’re just thoughts that you’ve held for a long time, you can do the work to change them. You just have to decide what you want to believe about yourself.

Tune in this week to discover how to make a Belief Plan, so you can start to see what’s possible for you. I have faith in your ability to quit pornography, and by the end of this episode, I hope you’ll see that believing in yourself...

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Episode 33: The Power of Pain

Uncategorized Aug 30, 2021

I’ve personally been going through a lot of inner turmoil and emotional pain lately, and it got me thinking about the beauty and power of pain. Viewing pornography is an outlet for many people to avoid the pain they’re experiencing in their lives, but it’s one that often just creates more of it.

So this week, I’m inviting you to see the power of learning to feel pain. There’s often this misconception that we have to be stronger than the pain we’re feeling to overcome it, but in truth, this belief only keeps you stuck in avoidance and buffering, in this case, with porn.

Listen in this week as I show you how going through your pain is a beautiful act, but it’s one that is not easy. I’m encouraging you to stop running from your pain, and instead, to be open to the truth that healthy individuals feel pain and use it to heal and empower themselves to create change.


I have amazing news. If you want to take the work I’m sharing on...

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Episode 32: “I Can’t”

Uncategorized Aug 23, 2021

Something I hear from so many of my clients when it comes to looking at pornography is “I can’t.” They tell themselves they can’t look at porn, but the energy behind it suggests they would if they could. This might even sound familiar to you.

Telling yourself “I can’t” might be innocent and it may work for some of you, but such restrictive energy could be hindering your progress. You are an adult, and you can do whatever you want, but there is a better option to choose to think than “I can’t” when you want to stop doing something.

In this episode, I’m sharing the problem with thinking “I can’t” and showing you how to reframe your mindset to feel more empowered. If you’re having a hard time committing to giving up pornography, looking at your beliefs is a great place to start. So this week, I’m showing you how to challenge your thoughts and beliefs and replace them with ones that...

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Episode 31: "I Shouldn't Be Here"

Uncategorized Aug 16, 2021

 Last week, we dove into the power of accepting yourself and how those who do are able to quit pornography faster. In this episode, we’re taking this concept a step further by discussing one thought that keeps people from acceptance and keeps them in a shame cycle of buffering with porn. 

How many of you have had the thought along the lines of, “I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be struggling with this, I shouldn’t need to listen to this podcast or do this work”? You might think this is a fact as it relates to your porn habit, that everyone would agree this is a horrible place to be, but I’m offering an alternative perspective today. 

Join me on the podcast this week to discover how the thought, “I shouldn’t be here” keeps you stuck where you are right now. I’m inviting you to come at this thought with curiosity instead of resistance, and you’ll start to see what an amazing opportunity questioning...

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Episode 30: The Power of Accepting Yourself

Uncategorized Aug 09, 2021

There is one thing that all of my clients have in common: difficulty accepting themselves. They want to change, and that’s great, but the truth is, you can’t make a positive change in your life if you don’t accept yourself. And that’s the work I’m helping you with on this episode.

Now, you might be reading this thinking, “What? But if I accept myself, why would I be motivated to change?” You think that accepting yourself is in direct conflict with your desire to quit viewing pornography. But while it sounds a little counterintuitive, you need to stick with me here because so many of my clients have successfully overcome pornography by doing just that.

Tune in this week to discover the power of self-acceptance. I’m sharing why I know beyond any doubt that this is vital work in changing your pornography habit, how to understand the work you have to do in this area, and where to start with it.


I have amazing news. If you want to take the...

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Episode 29: How to Stop Fearing Feelings

Uncategorized Aug 02, 2021

When I discovered the work of coaching, everything I heard blew my mind. But one of the biggest lessons that completely changed my life is around how to really feel your feelings. Understanding this allowed me to change my life, and it’s going to help you overcome pornography for good.

As humans, we’re wired to do anything we can to avoid feeling our emotions, and this is exactly how a porn habit thrives. But if you listen closely this week and take action to stop fearing your feelings and instead be willing to truly feel them, the work of quitting porn becomes so much easier, and we’re taking a deep dive into how you can start this work right now.

Join me on the podcast this week as I share the seven steps I take my clients through to help them stop fearing their feelings and start feeling them instead. I’m sharing how our emotions play out when we resist them, how to gain awareness of those moments when you’re resisting, and why it’s impossible...

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Episode 28: Navigating Faith Challenges with Dr. Julie Hanks

Uncategorized Jul 26, 2021

 

I’m so excited to bring you this interview with Dr. Julie Hanks. She is a psychotherapist and an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She does so much work in helping members of our church work on their marriages, as well as helping people navigate their faith challenges.

I know that many of you struggle with your faith and are going through some challenges in this area, especially where porn use is concerned. This is something that comes up all the time in the coaching that I offer my clients. But these faith challenges don’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it's a natural part of developing and growing, and Dr. Julie Hanks is here today to discuss all of it.

Tune in this week as I ask Dr. Julie Hanks your questions about your own faith challenges. We’re discussing some difficult topics, why it’s okay to struggle and not agree with every aspect of the LDS doctrine, and how to decide for yourself what is...

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Episode 27: The Shame Apathy Trap

Uncategorized Jul 19, 2021

 

If you’ve been a listener here for any length of time, you’ve likely heard me talk about the destructive nature of shame everywhere in life, but especially when trying to quit pornography. The shame spiral not only leaves you feeling like there’s something inherently wrong with you, but it can lead to a sense of apathy.

This week, I’m introducing you to a concept called the shame apathy trap. It’s an insidious cycle that creates so much unnecessary pain and suffering when we’re not aware of it in action, so I’m showing you how it plays out and some tips to start getting a handle on it.

If you feel like you’re never doing enough in your attempt to overcome pornography, or you’re starting to feel like you don’t care anymore and that’s adding to your feeling of shame, listen in this week. The shame apathy trap can make us think we just need to care more and do more, but I’m showing you how that’s the...

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