If you’ve been here for a while, you’ve heard me talk a lot about processing urges. When we have these urges to view pornography, what we don’t want to do is push them away or try to willpower through them. We want to process them. Processing your urges will help you train your brain to stop wanting porn.
Urges cannot make you do anything. They are not dangerous, and they are not something to be avoided. In fact, it’s the opposite. They need to be felt and experienced so that they can move through your body and pass. It’s simple to do but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Join me this week as I’m sharing what it means to process an urge and a three-step process that will help you process your urges whenever you feel them come up. You can use what I’m teaching you today with any emotion in your life, so tune in to find out exactly how to do it and how this can help you give up pornography for good.
If you’re ready to do...
This week, I’m bringing you a super special episode that you’re going to get so much out of. I’m introducing you to two members of my Overcome Pornography for Good team, Kat and Tina. They’re both amazing coaches with a wealth of knowledge on what it takes for true change to happen, and they’re here to share their insights.
Kat and Tina are amazing pillars of support inside our community who both ensure you get what you need on your journey. They’ve been coaching and helping my clients change their lives, and today, they have 6 key lessons that they want you to know when it comes to overcoming pornography.
Join us as we dive into the top things they coach on and 6 things you really need to know as you work on changing your unwanted porn use. We’re discussing the importance of examining your limiting beliefs, how to start listening to your body, and why tuning into gratitude and celebration is more crucial than you...
This week, I’m introducing you to a life-changing concept I learned called the Choose Again method. Of all the wins and celebrations we see inside my program, the root cause of my clients getting on the other side of the pornography habit truly boils down to the fact that they all chose something new and different for themselves, and you can too.
We all have the power to change our lives by choosing to think about things in a new way. But choosing new thoughts takes being intentional and lots of practice reminding ourselves that they’re always optional. So in this episode, I’m showing you how to start inching your way towards thoughts that serve you by using the Choose Again method.
Join me on the podcast as I show you why the Choose Again method is so powerful for habit change. I’m laying out the three simple steps of this concept, explaining why it’s not about catapulting ourselves to happiness and dismissing our human experience, and...
Most of you who first come to me are trying to quit the pornography habit from a place of self-loathing and hate. You believe that if you can just learn how to quit, you’ll finally be able to approach yourself with the love and kindness you deserve. But the truth is this never works.
Whether it’s overcoming the porn habit, dealing with the loss of a job, or any life circumstance that you're struggling with, layering on hate and shame does not help. I did this in my own life too, so I know exactly what it feels like. But this leads to isolation, trying to grit our teeth and muster up willpower, and it makes the experience 10 times harder.
Join me this week as I guide you through the one skill that will make overcoming the porn habit 10 times easier. I’m showing you why hating yourself through any challenge only produces more discouragement and confusion, and how to instead get to a place where you can make informed decisions and build beliefs that will spark...
What are the things you’re working towards and dreaming about for your life? Whether it’s related to shifting your porn habit, finding the love of your life, traveling around the world, or anything else, how are you going to guarantee the result you want?
Too many people have huge dreams that they unintentionally quit ahead of time on, because of their conditional commitment to it. They tell themselves they’ll bring their dreams to reality if everything goes right, as long as it doesn’t take too much effort, or if it’s easy. And if these statements sound familiar, you’re in the right place.
Tune in this week as I show you why conditional commitment will always stop you in your tracks, and why practicing unconditional commitment is a game-changer when it comes to changing your habits. You’ll discover why all goals require unconditional commitment, and how to start thinking about what you want in life through this lens.
One of the most transformative concepts that I’ve learned and that I teach my clients is the 50-50 of life. It’s the principle that life is always 50% positive and 50% negative, and that when we can accept this reality, we can truly thrive. And this week, I’m taking it a step further by applying this rule to us as individuals.
The truth is that as humans, we hold the duality of both good AND bad. We didn’t come to Earth to be perfect. We came to experience all of humanity, which inevitably means making mistakes, learning, and overcoming struggles. And yet, I watch my clients take their unwanted porn use and make this habit mean everything about them as a person.
Listen in this week as I offer how the 50-50 principle can be an incredibly powerful tool when we apply it to ourselves. I’m showing you what happens when we resist this fact, what happens when we can truly allow for our human duality, and I’m also giving you an exercise to...
One thing that I hear often from my clients in doing our work together is the statement, “It’s easier to give in to my urges.” I won’t argue that sitting with an urge isn’t hard or uncomfortable, it most definitely is. But your brain telling you that it’s just easier to give in to your urge to watch porn is a lie.
This week, I’m introducing you to a concept called hard vs. harder. You might be framing your work to overcome porn with the question, “Is it going to be hard? Is it going to take too much energy and effort?” The truth is, it will be hard, but it’ll be even harder to continue to give in, to stay stuck for even a day longer, riddled with shame, feeling unproductive, lost, and lonely.
Join me this week as I invite you to choose a hard that gets you where you want to be. Making any habit change is going to guarantee discomfort, but I’m showing you how to call your brain out on the lie that it’s...
One thing my clients often tell me is that their urges feel especially challenging at certain times of day, days of the week, or even in certain places. Maybe you notice the urge to watch pornography on work trips, when your family goes out of town, or on a work break on a certain day of the week. This is completely normal.
Our brains are brilliant in that they remember instances of dopamine hits, but you don’t have to let your lower brain dictate your life. Although it feels like it, your urges aren’t dangerous and they aren’t a problem. And one practical skill that will make your urges easier to handle is planning ahead of time.
Listen in this week as I offer my tips for building the skill of planning ahead of time. You’ll discover why this is such an integral part of being intentional about how you live your life, what happens when decision fatigue kicks in, and what to look out for as you begin practicing planning ahead of time.
My guest on the show this week is one of my greatest teachers in this realm of sexuality. I honestly wouldn’t be doing the work I do today if I hadn’t had the opportunity to work with her, so I’m honored to have her here and excited for you to hear everything she has to share with us.
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a psychologist and teacher who helps people specifically in the LDS space who are working through their sexuality. She is the expert on coaching people in ways that allow them to be capable of both emotionally and physically intimate relationships, and this week, we’re diving into all the ways our sexuality can be a force for good.
If you currently believe your sexuality is morally wrong, or have bought into all the ways sexuality gets a bad rap, join us on this episode. Jennifer is dropping some serious gems around how we frame our human sexuality in unhelpful ways, the keys to creating an intimate partnership that feels amazing, and...
When it comes to overcoming unwanted porn use, how I often see my clients starting out this journey is with force. They approach this work by trying to intensely change who they are, making themselves comply with guilt and shame, and this simply doesn’t ever work in their favor.
Instead, this week, I’m inviting you to imagine that you’re healing a broken wound with love and patience. The root cause of porn use is different for everyone. Some start using it after a bad divorce or to deal with stress, and for others, it’s a lack of self-trust or a history of trauma. And in every case, healing is the answer.
Tune in this week as I show you how healing is the key to getting to the root of your porn habit. Overcoming pornography is not something you can force yourself through, and I’m showing you the reason so many people start here, and how it halts your progress.
If you’ve been thinking about joining Overcome Pornography for Good,...