The urge to view porn is something that so many people fear. They live their lives hoping and crossing their fingers that they don’t feel a strong urge, shaming themselves if it does come up, and they think willpower and gritting their teeth is the only way to manage it.
This is where mindful urge management comes in. The idea here is all about learning to manage urges in a way that will help you, instead of making them worse, having it be your worst nightmare and something that makes you feel completely out of control. Because as soon as you discover how to mindfully manage your urges, you won’t have to be at the mercy of them anymore.
Tune in this week as I share my 4 tips for learning how to mindfully manage your urges. I’m showing you why you might be feeling stuck in a cycle of willpower energy right now, and what it means to just allow your urges to exist so you truly don’t have to be afraid of them.
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There are four pillars to consider when it comes to quitting porn, and I’m spending the next four episodes discussing each of them. So this week is the first pillar: shame-free commitment. Many of you have the commitment part down, but you’re missing the shame-free part, which actually makes it impossible to keep up with your commitment.
Many times, people say they’re committed to quitting porn, but having commitment doesn’t mean you’re excited about it or you’re going to be 100% perfect. This work is going to be difficult, and the hardest part will be avoiding that feeling of shame that keeps you going back to the comfort of pornography time after time. So in this episode, I’m sharing the secrets to cultivating shame-free commitment.
Tune in this week to discover how to develop the true shame-free commitment required for overcoming pornography. I’m sharing the conditioning and limiting beliefs that keep people stuck in their porn...
In our modern-day lifestyles of over-consuming and overindulging, saying no to what we want feels uncomfortable, and sometimes even wrong. But not satisfying your desire, whether that’s for food, porn, or anything else, could be getting in the way of your true happiness and wellbeing.
In purity culture, men are conditioned to believe they need a certain amount of sexual stimuli and that they deserve it, while women are taught that it’s their job to fulfill that desire. This messaging is so harmful, but it’s no surprise that then, having our urges fulfilled feels so important, and exercising restraint is far from ideal.
Join me this week as I show you the price you pay when you choose the short-term pleasure of overindulgence over your long-term wellbeing. I’m offering that it’s not only safe and loving to say no, but that it could even be beneficial to feel an unanswered desire.
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We all have on a particular set of lenses that create our perception of life and the world. Much like actual lenses in the glasses that we wear, they tint everything we see. Life always looks a little different in differently colored ones, as well as when we take them off completely.
Right now, it might feel so true to you that you can’t overcome your pornography habit, that you’re terrible with money, or that you suck at keeping a schedule. But seeing life through this lens is only giving you more evidence of how this is your reality, so what if we tried on different ones?
Join me this week as I introduce you to a mind-blowing concept that will teach you how to see yourself and the world around you differently. You don’t have to believe what your lenses are showing you right now, and you can choose to switch them up if you want, and I’m showing you how.
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How many times have you convinced yourself that you can’t quit pornography, or you’ve tried too many times, or this is too difficult? So often, we have thoughts that we automatically believe, and we don’t ever stop to question them. We don’t realize that they are just thoughts; we believe them to be facts.
When we take a step back and pay attention to our thoughts, we can become the observer. Developing an awareness of your thoughts without believing or judging them is crucial in making a change in any area of your life, and when you apply this skill to quitting pornography, it is life-changing.
Join me this week as I’m showing you how to become the observer of your thoughts and how doing so will enable you to change your pornography habit. Being the observer will teach you so many things about your porn habit that you need to know, so I’m showing you how to observe yourself and stop believing everything your brain is telling you.
This week, we’re diving into a topic that is extremely close to my heart. Missionary work is a huge part of our church where we spend two years from the age of 18 spreading the word of Jesus, and coming home and adjusting to post-mission life is a huge challenge.
My own post-missionary experience was difficult, to say the least, and this is how I found coaching. Returning missionaries often go through a myriad of challenging feelings, from depression and loneliness to a lost sense of purpose, and so they lean on porn use as a way to escape their inner turmoil.
Join me on the podcast this week as I share the lessons I’ve learned in my work helping returning missionaries who struggle with porn use. I’m showing you why returning missionaries often struggle with porn, and I’m listing 8 things that are not effective in solving for porn use, and showing you what to do instead.
I have amazing news. If you want to take the work I’m sharing on the...
We generally have two competing desires fighting for attention in our brain. We have our present desire, which is what we want in the moment, and there’s our future desire, which is what we want in the long term. So when it comes to pornography, maybe your present desire is the urge to view porn, even though you know you don’t want to be at the mercy of that urge forever.
The present desire is you wanting to escape pain and experience pleasure and excitement, and the future desire is you wanting to control your emotional wellbeing and live in integrity with your values. The good news is having these competing desires doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. But if you want to start listening to your future desire more often, you’re going to need a compelling reason to quit viewing pornography.
Tune in this week to discover how to give less attention to your present desires, so you can fulfill your future desire of overcoming pornography for good....
When my clients first come to me, they believe they need to be perfect right away in everything they do to quit porn. This all-or-nothing mindset is one I see very often in my work, and the truth is it’s not effective.
This week, I’m introducing you to the compound effect. It teaches that instead of having to move mountains every day in your attempt to quit porn, we can instead take small incremental steps consistently over time, and this is what will lead to your success.
Tune in this week as I show you why an all-or-nothing mindset stagnates your progress, and how minuscule improvements over time are more powerful than you might think. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be courageous enough to take it one day at a time, and I’m guiding you through it.
I have amazing news. If you want to take the work I’m sharing on the podcast deeper, I’m running a masterclass called How to Quit Viewing Pornography Even if You’ve...
When we feel the urge for anything we wish we didn’t want, like viewing pornography, or eating something we know we shouldn’t if we’re on a diet, it’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings we experience. Not only do we feel the discomfort, but we see it as a huge problem.
But the truth is that our urges aren’t actually a problem. In fact, on this episode, I’m encouraging you to welcome it in with open arms. Yes, you heard that right.
Join me this week as I lay out the 3 things we can do when we feel an urge. I’m showing you how two of those options have you either acting outside of your value system, or furthering you from where you ultimately want to be, and how the third option available to you is the key to handling any urge with confidence and ease.
I have amazing news. If you want to take the work I’m sharing on the podcast deeper, I’m running a masterclass called How to Quit Viewing...
I’m a little nervous about this week’s episode because what I want to share is controversial. But even if you find yourself immediately disagreeing with me after reading the title of this podcast episode, I want you to stick with me.
You might have been sold the message that your sexual urges are from Satan. They’re coming from the adversary who’s trying to get you to do something bad, your urges are something you have to fight against, and it’s an evil part of you that needs to be destroyed. But I want to offer that this simply isn’t true.
Join me this week as I lay out the 3 biggest problems with believing Satan is in charge of your sexual urges. Your urges aren’t dangerous or evil, and trying to overcome porn with this framework is not effective, so I’m showing you where your urges actually come from, and why this will feel so much more freeing as you work to understand your over desire for pornography.
I have amazing...