Episode 90: Research on Shame with Ryan Hewitt

Uncategorized Oct 03, 2022

I’m back this week with the third and final installment of my interview with Ryan Hewitt. He’s currently writing his dissertation and conducting pioneering research on pornography use in religious individuals, and on this episode, we’re diving into the topic of shame.

If you’ve been a long-time listener here, you will have heard me say that shame never helps you move forward. While faith is often the source of shame and moral incongruence for many of you, Ryan has discovered that faith can actually be the answer to shame, and we’re exploring how using this lens can be very effective in getting to the root issue.

Join us this week as Ryan offers his research and findings on beginning to understand shame in a new way. We’re discussing the difference between guilt and shame, the dangers of equating these two emotions, and what you can do to combat shame, instead of continuing to feed it.

If you are a male between the ages of 18 and 29 and identify...

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Episode 89: Research on Moral Incongruence with Ryan Hewitt

Uncategorized Sep 26, 2022

We are back and continuing the discussion with Ryan Hewitt on the continuing research around pornography use, this week all about moral incongruence. Ryan is in the midst of doing important research around pornography and religious individuals, and he’s on the cutting edge of so much new information and understanding.

Problems around pornography due to moral incongruence are incredibly common. We discussed last week how a pornography habit is seen as compulsive, rather than an addiction. Well, when we bring moral incongruence into the mix, it gets more stressful. People who have a strong conviction regarding pornography are particularly prone to experiencing this moral incongruence, and it ends up feeling terrible.

Tune in this week for a deeper understanding of the psychological tension that keeps people going back to porn time and time again. We’re discussing why simply changing the behavior of viewing porn isn’t going to help with the discomfort of moral...

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Episode 88: Research on Addiction with Ryan Hewitt

Uncategorized Sep 19, 2022

This week’s episode is an incredibly special one. Ryan Hewitt is a researcher who is currently doing his dissertation on addiction and pornography, specifically in Christians. He reached out to me because there has been a lot of emerging research around porn that supports my process, and he’s here to share that with us over the next few weeks. 

Ryan and I decided to do a three-part series of interviews, and in this first episode, we’re diving into the research on addiction and porn use. You might not be surprised to hear that in the context we discuss, there’s a decreased likelihood of talking about questions, concerns, and issues regarding the realm of sexuality, and this compelled Ryan to dig into one of the most obvious and glaring arenas: pornography.

Join us in this episode as Ryan shares his fascinating research on addiction and porn. You’ll discover how, in many cases, perceived addiction around porn is rooted in an internal battle...

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Episode 87: Worthiness

Uncategorized Sep 12, 2022

So many people have been taught a side of the story around worthiness that is holding them back. However, the more we learn about worthiness, the easier it becomes to access and step into our own. So, this episode is a reminder of the most helpful emotion you can create in combatting the shame that leads to people viewing pornography.

Shame and worthiness are big topics, but they both come from our thoughts. We feel shame because we’re thinking shameful thoughts about ourselves. Pretty simple, right? Well, as hard as it might be to believe right now, creating a sense of worthiness doesn’t come from our circumstances, our past, or our actions, it’s a result of the thoughts we think.

Tune in this week to discover everything you need to know about being worthy and creating the feeling of worthiness. I’m sharing why you don’t have to change your behavior in order to feel worthy, why quitting porn in itself isn’t where your worthiness is going to come...

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Episode 86: You Are Not Your Thoughts

Uncategorized Sep 05, 2022

I recently heard a story that really stuck with me. A woman was going on a 10-day silent meditation retreat where she noticed she was thinking the same thought about what to wear the next day over and over. She decided to go on this retreat again, but this time, took just one outfit. And guess what? The same thought kept popping into her mind.

We all have habitual thoughts we think on repeat. They become cycles that play out over and over until we deliberately change the pattern or come up with a solution. The truth is you don’t have to believe your thoughts or be controlled by them, and this week, I’m showing you how to start transforming your relationship with your thoughts. 

Join me this week to discover how to recognize that you are not your thoughts. I’m showing you why we have certain thoughts that we seem to keep thinking no matter how hard we try not to, and how to start becoming an observer of your thoughts to allow more peace and self-love as you...

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Episode 85: LGBTQ+ and Porn with TJ Thomas

Uncategorized Aug 29, 2022

I get questions every now and then from people who are viewing certain types of pornography, and they have questions about what this means as far as their sexuality is concerned. So, today, I’m sitting down with TJ Thomas to answer some of these difficult questions using his personal wisdom on this topic.

TJ Thomas is a therapist who recently opened his own practice. He identifies as LGBTQ+, he’s a member of the LDS Church, and he’s here to discuss everything to do with LGBTQ+ and pornography. We discuss some of the myths out there, and I’m putting some of the questions I receive from listeners to TJ so he can give all of you his expert advice.

Tune in this week to discover new insights and perspectives around the relationship between the LGBTQ+ community, the Church, and viewing pornography. We’re discussing how religion impacted TJ’s experience of processing his sexual orientation, why pornography use doesn’t influence your sexual...

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Episode 84: Success Circle with Tina

Uncategorized Aug 22, 2022

This week, I’m sitting down with our Overcome Pornography for Good coach, Tina. If you’re in the program, you’ve been coached by her and know her well. She’s a family relationship coach who specializes in helping people find peace in difficult family relationships, and we’ve been working together in my business for a year now. 

I invited Tina to the show to talk about a concept inside our program called The Success Circle. This is a concept that is vital for creating and facilitating the change you’re after right now, and I know that Tina’s introduction of it is going to be so incredibly valuable to all of you. 

Listen in this week as Tina and I dive into a three-part concept called The Success Circle. You’ll learn what The Success Circle entails, how each element interacts with each other, and what is required of you to create incremental progress towards your goals. 

One-on-one private coaching with me will be...

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Episode 83: Top 3 Lessons from Private Coaching

Uncategorized Aug 15, 2022

I’ve worked with many private clients in my business, and I’ve also been a private client of other coaches. I’ve learned a lot from being both the coach and client, and with spots for my one-on-one private coaching opening up soon, I thought I would provide some valuable lessons from private coaching for those of you listening here. 

Whether you do eventually sign up for private coaching or not, what I’m sharing this week will help you begin shifting your experience with unwanted pornography use. So much is truly possible with a coach by your side, giving you the support, guidance, and accountability you’re looking for, and you’re hearing my top three takeaways from private coaching today.

If you’re truly sick and tired of porn controlling you, you no longer believe the narrative that you’ll have to struggle forever, or you believe you’re capable of anything, but for some reason, porn has been the one thing you can’t...

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Episode 82: Loneliness

Uncategorized Aug 08, 2022

Loneliness is something that comes up for a lot of my clients as a reason for viewing porn. They feel lonely, and they want to escape it. So, if your brain is filled with thoughts of being alone forever, that you’re not enough for someone else, and you feel shame and self-pity around these thoughts, this episode is for you.

The truth is it’s possible to feel lonely and still have more productive thoughts about your situation. Loneliness isn’t fun, but so many people make it harder for themselves by thinking thoughts that only serve to make them feel even worse. So, in this episode, I’m showing you how to change the story around your loneliness, so you don’t need to turn to pornography for company.

Tune in this week to discover how the feeling of loneliness contributes to a pornography habit. I’m sharing the impact of the thoughts you have around your loneliness, how to recognize these thoughts when they come up, and I’m showing you how to...

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Episode 81: Maybe the Problem Isn’t You

Uncategorized Aug 01, 2022

While I was on a boating vacation with my family, I decided to go out paddleboarding. I immediately started spinning around in circles, going absolutely nowhere, and no matter how hard I paddled, I was moving backward. Frustrated and deflated, I told myself I was horrible at paddleboarding and that I sucked. 

That was until I figured out the rudder on my paddleboard was on backward. And it got me thinking, how does this apply to what all of you are experiencing? Because sometimes, the problem isn’t that you just suck. Sometimes, the problem is that you need to take a look at the systems and the way you’re going about where you’re trying to get. 

Join me to discover how, maybe, the problem isn’t you if you’re struggling to quit viewing pornography. You’ll hear my revelations from my paddleboarding experience that will apply perfectly to where you are right now, and how to start shifting the focus away from you. 



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