Episode 15: For When it's Really Difficult

Uncategorized Apr 26, 2021

There is no doubt about it; quitting pornography is an incredibly difficult thing to do. We know that nothing worth having comes easily, and because you’ve used porn to buffer against negative emotions for so long, there is so much discomfort to deal with when deciding to break the habit. But don’t despair because, in this episode, I’m showing you what to do when things get really hard.

Deciding you don’t want to look at porn is the easy part. It’s what comes after that makes it feel like hard work. However, the difficulty that will inevitably come up for you is what makes this process so amazing, and if you implement what I’m giving you in this episode, you’ll never see your urge to view porn the same way again.

Join me on the podcast this week to discover how to embrace the discomfort of quitting pornography. I’m showing you the stories we tell ourselves that stop us from even really trying to do something we know is going to be...

Continue Reading...

Episode 14: Iceberg Emotions

Uncategorized Apr 19, 2021

 

I’ll preface this by letting you all know that I am not an iceberg expert. However, I do know that we only see 10% of an iceberg, while the rest of it lives out of sight. And the same is true of your pornography habit. There is always so much more going on that isn’t immediately obvious, so if we only work on that 10% we can see, there is always more waiting to come to the surface.

There are always emotions lurking deep inside of us that are responsible for the things we don’t like in our lives. So in this episode, I want to shed some light on how you can address these unresolved thoughts and feelings, and ultimately break them down so you can create the lasting change you want to see.

Join me on the podcast this week to discover what is lying beneath the surface of your porn habit. I’m sharing the emotions I see coming up for my clients that they never wanted to see were at play. And once you can get clear on what’s causing the behavior you...

Continue Reading...

Episode 13: Physiology Vs Morality

Uncategorized Apr 13, 2021

If you’re someone who feels shame when you find yourself wanting to view pornography, this episode is for you. So many of my clients feel guilt and other negative emotions around their sexual urges. So, this week, we’re unpacking what these urges are, what they mean, and most importantly, what they don’t mean.

This happens most with people who grew up in a household where the topic of sex was taboo, but it can happen to anyone. The truth is that the desire to view pornography isn’t good or bad in and of itself. So, if you’re experiencing shame in this area, this idea of physiology versus morality is exactly what you need to hear.

Join me on the podcast this week to discover why we should never feel negative emotion around our sexual urges. I’m sharing why these impulses are a matter of physiology, not morality, and how to neutralize the urge in your mind, so you can deal with it in a way that feels more aligned with how you want to live your...

Continue Reading...

Episode 12: Sin Vs Weakness

Uncategorized Apr 05, 2021

So far on the podcast, I’ve taught you a lot of the science behind habit-reformation and how your brain is working. But in this episode, I’m talking about your pornography habit from the perspective that really matters: God’s.

One thing I see with clients and listeners who are members of the LDS Church is that they’re told from a young age that porn is evil and they need to avoid it at all costs. So then, if you do start watching pornography, you inevitably feel terrible because what you’re doing is a sin in the eyes of Heavenly Father. And this is where the principle of Sin Vs Weakness comes in.

Join me on the podcast this week to discover the differences between sins and weaknesses in the eyes of God. And when you understand this difference, you will be in a much better position to decide whether your habit is really a sin, or whether it’s just an area of human weakness that every single one of us experiences in some form or another.

If...

Continue Reading...

Episode 11: What to Look Out For When You Stop Viewing Porn

Uncategorized Mar 30, 2021

How do you imagine you’ll feel when you finally quit your porn habit? You might romanticize being on the other side, feeling amazing, committed, and whole… but I’m here to warn you that this isn’t quite how it’s going to go.

Something that might catch you by surprise is that you are going to feel terrible. It might be unsettling to know that it’s not going to be rainbows and daisies when you stop, but don’t be scared or disheartened because I’m showing you how accepting this is the path to getting to the other side.

Tune in this week to discover what will happen when you quit porn, and how to create a life where porn isn’t a temptation anymore. Yes, it’s 100% possible, and I’m laying out what is required of you to finally get to this place.

Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me.

What You'll Learn from this Episode:

  • What happens when you...
Continue Reading...

Episode 10: Am I Addicted?

accidted addiction overcome Mar 24, 2021

In my experience of working at addiction recovery programs and the research I’ve done in this realm, the term “addicted” or “addiction” has a long laundry list of definitions. But what I have found, especially in LDS culture, is the use of this label in a way that isn’t helpful and is in fact harmful to us. 

Sure, there are chemical processes going on in our brains when we view pornography, but that doesn’t have to mean you’re addicted or powerless. I’m inviting you to question the types of actions you take when you believe you’re “addicted” to porn, and how you want to use this label for yourself going forward.

The truth is you always get to decide how you interpret yourself and your life. I’m sharing some ways I’ve intentionally chosen to change my beliefs about myself and the results I’ve gotten from that, and I’m asking you this week, if you decided being “addicted”...

Continue Reading...

Episode 9: Situational Joy

How many times have you said this phrase in your life? “I’ll finally be happy when…” fill in the blank. So many of us are living unfulfilled lives, waiting to feel good so we can get to that destination we have in our minds, or until that life event we want so badly happens, or so you can finally quit your porn habit.

But the reality of living this way is there’s always something else to do or another destination to reach. You don’t have to wait to feel good or for your situation to be ideal for you to take action towards a life you want, and I’m showing you how today.

If you currently believe you have to feel bad to quit, or that you can’t be happy or proud or confident until you quit the habit, listen in. I’m showing you what situational joy means, how it’s holding you back, and some of the biggest reasons we believe we have to wait for situational joy to change our lives.

Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I...

Continue Reading...

Episode 8: Fact vs Story

This week’s topic is one that can be life-changing in every single area of your life if you stick with me here. So many of us aren’t used to questioning our stories and thoughts about something. We just believe them to be true, and there couldn’t be anything more detrimental, especially in the realm of the porn habit.

You’ve likely had thoughts floating around in your mind about having watched porn “forever,” that you’ll never be able to stop, and what this means about you. Maybe you believe it means you’re not good enough, or not worthy, or that there’s something wrong with you, but these are all just stories that are completely optional.

Tune in this week as I show you the difference between facts and a story, and how your long-held beliefs don’t make something true. This can be a really tricky shift to understand if you’ve never practiced questioning your thoughts, but I’m inviting you to see the power...

Continue Reading...

Episode 7: Stop Fighting and Start Surrendering

When it comes to your urges to view pornography and your desire to stop this habit, it can feel like a fight or battle within you as you try to push or force the urge out. What I’m offering to you this week might seem contrary to the process of overcoming pornography, but I promise that it will actually be the key to your success.

The truth is that your urges are completely harmless, and thinking of them as a demon within you that you have to defeat is only making quitting harder. So, what if we invited those urges in and surrendered to them instead?

Join me this week as I show you how there is no need to fight your desire to view pornography. Surrendering to these emotions not only teaches you a better way to deal with the full human experience, but it also helps you identify what might need closer inspection under the surface.

Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me.

What You'll Learn from this...

Continue Reading...

Episode 6: All or Nothing Mindset

Some common thoughts that my clients come to me with sound something along the lines of, “Well, I already looked today, so I might as well keep looking,” or, “I already messed up this week, so I’ll try again on Monday.” So many people believe messing up means their progress has been undone, but I’m offering an alternative to you today.

These types of thoughts are the archetype of the all or nothing mindset, and the truth is it’s hindering your success. If you’re measuring your progress by counting the number of days you’ve made it sober, and you slip up, and you take it to mean you’re back to square one, I’ve got good news today because it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Listen in this week as I show you the detriments of all or nothing thinking, and how failing is part and parcel of the journey of learning to quit viewing pornography. I’m showing you why messing up doesn’t mean your progress...

Continue Reading...
Close

50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.