Episode 139: A Fresh View on Sin with Tyson Bradley

You are listening to the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast episode 139, A Fresh View on Sin with Tyson Bradley.

Welcome to the Overcome Pornography For Good podcast where we take a research-based, trauma informed and results focused approach to quitting porn. This approach has been revolutionary and changed thousands and thousands of lives. I’m your host, Sara Brewer.

Hey guys, welcome to today’s podcast episode. I’m really excited for the interview with Tyson Bradley. We talk a lot about spirituality and sin. And so one thing to keep in mind is Tyson is a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

And so a lot of the doctrine that we talk about is based off of some of that theology, and it’s great and it will be applicable for anyone who is Christian. There will definitely be parts that are applicable to you. But I just want to put that out there for those of you who might not be interested in hearing this one. That’s totally fine. 

But we do talk about sin and thinking about sin in a more refreshing way that’s going to help us quit viewing porn. It’s really beautiful. I hope you enjoy this episode with Tyson Bradley. 

Sara: All right, you guys, welcome to today’s episode. Today I’m really excited to invite Tyson Bradley onto our podcast. I recently worked with him during his I Am Love summit, which you probably heard me talk about if you follow me and on my list. And I think we even talked about it in a podcast episode. 

Do you want to introduce yourself a little bit and then tell us a little bit about the I Am Love summit? 

Tyson: Yeah, sure. So I guess one thing to know about me is that I’ve been in the life coaching industry for probably seven years. I got certified in 2018 at The Life Coach School and worked for The Life Coach School for a time helping a number of people, helping a number of life coaches and building their businesses. 

And after a couple years of doing that I thought, hey, maybe I should just do my own business. And I coached around time management and coaching men, men in my church, coaching people on business, all sorts of things. And now I’m at this point, and the thing about entrepreneurial journeys is that as you keep talking, you keep finding your voice. 

And what I’ve noticed is that when I have talked to a number of clients, like all the clients I’ve ever worked with, one of the primary challenges that we have is that we just talk so negatively towards ourselves. And if we get caught up in the shame of seeing ourselves as flawed, it’s actually very hard to progress in any area. And so it acts as kind of a barrier. 

And I thought, you know what? I really want to do this topic justice, this idea of self-love and this idea of self-compassion. And so I brought on 30 plus speakers to talk about it from various aspects. And that’s kind of what created the I Am Love summit that hopefully some of you tuned into and saw, because Sara was a part of it. 

So now, I’m incorporating the idea of self-love and creating programs and other things that all center around that, as well as identity. So those are the kind of two topics that I’m really passionate about right now. 

Sara: Cool. I love it. Yeah, we had a great time talking about that. And also a little background, yeah, I’ve seen Tyson in the uppers of The Life Coach School for a long time. And you did like Monday Hour One, I think is one that you did. 

Tyson: Yeah. 

Sara: Oh, that one changed my life. I use that all the time. So for anyone who’s interested in productivity, search Monday Hour One and use that. 

Tyson: So good. 

Sara: Yeah. Okay, so what we want to talk about today, though, is during our interview we brought up this idea of sin and kind of redefining sin a little bit because a lot of us use this term sin as a way to feel a lot of shame. 

Tyson: Yes. 

Sara: And especially with porn or anything sexual or masturbation. It’s like, oh no, I’ve sinned. And this means X, Y, or Z. I’m a sinner, shame, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so anyways, we brought this up and, well, how about you just tell us a little bit your thoughts about that? 

Tyson: Okay, let’s dive into this. So when I was a kid, I remember going to church on Sunday. And this is usually where the concept of sin originates, within religion, from our parents, from the things that we read in scripture. And I remember going to church and a number of times thinking to myself, if I sin, then I am putting burdens upon Christ. It’s as though I am creating pain for him. 

And, as you can imagine, this brought a lot of sadness to me in some regard because I thought, oh my goodness, if I do anything bad then, not only am I just a bad person, but I am adding pain to Christ. And he did all this for me. So it was not the healthiest view. And it did not support me in any regard. 

Now, that was an experience that I remember. I remember thinking those things. And it’s probably only been within the last four or five years that I learned about changing the way in which we see and redefining what sin actually means and where it comes from. 

And if we look at the history of sin and its connection to salvation and whether we are worthy of God’s love, it really goes back to like St. Augustine. Like back in the early Christian church and that connection between, okay, if you do good, then you’re not sinning. If you do bad, you’re a sinner, you go to hell and there’s no salvation. 

And it creates this sense of fear. And we’ve kind of been operating from that foundation for the longest time. And so, unless we redefine what sin looks like and what it actually means, then we maintain this idea that, okay, if I do something that I consider sin, and when you guys think of that word it’s like, okay, what is sin? Well, pornography is definitely on the list. Masturbation is definitely on the list. 

Sara: Yeah, it’s up there. 

Tyson: It’s up there and it’s fascinating because in some of the scriptures, at least within my own faith, it’s like some of the scriptures even speak of it as really bad, abominable. Like, horrible. 

And that’s what got to me when I was struggling with pornography and masturbation. Just like, wow, man, that was hard to think of myself as horrible, abominable, poison, all these associations with it. And that only compels and perpetuates the shame and the cycle and continuing the challenge of it all. 

Sara: Yeah. Yeah, so good. Such a good intro thinking about sin. So tell us a little bit, because also we’re not coming from a place of sin is not real. It doesn’t exist, because I know people might hear that and be like, is that what you’re saying? 

Tyson: Right. 

Sara: Right, so what’s the solution here? If sin is really associated with shame, because you’re definitely not alone with thinking the more I sin, the more pain I caused Christ. 

Tyson: Yeah. 

Sara: I mean, I was taught that. I don’t remember where, but I know me and a lot of people that I know, yeah, that’s something that comes up. So we’re seeing the result of that. We’re going through life coach, we’re having spiritual awakenings where we’re seeing the results of shame. And we’re seeing how this idea of sin actually creates a lot of shame. But we don’t want to get rid of this idea that there’s good and bad. What’s the solution? Or what’s next? 

Tyson: Right. And it’s really fascinating because if we hold on to the idea that sin is bad and then if I do anything that’s associated with sin, then I am bad, then it perpetuates shame. And so it’s like, okay, the goal in my mind is it’s almost like, whatever you experience in life that creates shame, it’s not of God. 

Sara: Yes. 

Tyson: And so how is it that we redefine and reevaluate, and in my mind, a lot of the things that I do as I read scripture or as I interact with my religion, is I try and actually talk with God about what this actually means. 

I try to talk about it in the sense of, okay, the God I know is the God that loves unconditionally. And by unconditionally, I mean if you look at porn, I love you. If you don’t look at porn, I love you. If you look at porn again and again and again and again, I love you. There’s nothing that you can do to escape the circle of my love. Nothing. 

And so as much as you may think that you’re outside of the circle, you’re still in the circle. You can’t escape it. And so if that’s the God that I know, if that’s the nature and character of God that I know, then when I read these scriptures, there’s something that I might be missing. And there’s some redefining that needs to happen. 

Now, I’ll just cut to the chase in the sense that the redefinition that I remember reading about in a book called All Things New by Terryl and Fiona Givens was that they said sin is not the crime. It’s not the punishment. What we want to think of sin as, is woundedness. And it was the most beautiful definition that just opened up so many venues for me. 

Now, I remember long ago when a man by the name of David A. Bednar introduced the idea that grace equals the enabling and strengthening power of the atonement. And so every time I would read the scriptures, if I saw the word grace, enabling and strengthening the power of the atonement, that’s what would go through my mind, replace. 

And in the same vein, now whenever I look at sin I see woundedness, wounded. And as I do that, it’s pretty amazing what ends up happening. Because if you see sin as like a criminal in need of punishment versus wounded, like a patient in need of healing, it changes the entire game.

Sara: So good. I want people to just breathe and feel the things that you’re saying because I am just eating it up. It’s so powerful and such, like you can just feel the goodness and the truth there, really. Really. 

Let me just speak on this All Things New really quick before we keep going. I really love that book. Did I finish it? I don’t know if I finished it, but it’s really great. So Terryl and Fiona Givens, they are LDS. 

So I think the first half is especially LDS history heavy. But the second half is taking all of these words from mainstream Christianity and LDS theology and reframing them with this historical view of like, if we look at the origins of the word, what does this really mean? 

And so I don’t remember what they said specifically about sin, but the origins of it, whether that be Greek or whatever, really translate into woundedness. And they’re not the only people I’ve heard this from. I’ve heard this also from Richard Rohr and a number of other people. 

I heard Richard Rohr once in an interview with Brene Brown where he said something like the greatest damage we’ve done in Christianity is replacing woundedness with sin. That’s created so much, so much unnecessary pain and suffering. Because sin is woundedness, its wounded people. It’s not someone in need of like the whips and chains. And I don’t know if that’s the right word, but it’s someone in need of healing. 

Tyson: Yeah. It’s really interesting because when I was kind of thinking about what we’re going to talk about and just the idea of sin, the way we view sin almost like a criminal in need of punishment, versus the patient in need of healing. I was recently reading the Book of Mormon, and I’ll read some verses to you here just because it totally goes in alignment with that. 

And this is Alma, chapter 39. There’s a man named Alma, who has these sons and one of their names is Grant, who ended up chasing after a harlot and probably getting together with her. And that was awesome. But he did not think that was awesome. And he tells his son, he says, no, you don’t. My son, these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord. That’s a helpful word. 

Yeah, most abominable above all sins, save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost. So even right here, we’re just like, oh, wow, look at the gravity of this. 

Sara: And this is where a lot of us growing up heard sexual sin is next to murder, this specific verse. 

Tyson: This specific verse is exactly that. 

Sara: I’m so glad you’re bringing this up. 

Tyson: And then if we go down, Alma chapter 39, verse seven. And now, my son, I would to God that ye had not been guilty of so great a crime. I would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up your soul, if it were not for your good. But behold, ye cannot hide your crimes from God and except they will stand as a testimony against you at the last day. 

Now, my son, I would that you should repent, forsake your sins, go no more after the lusts of your eyes and cross yourself and all these things, for except you do this you can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. Oh remember and take it upon you and cross yourself in these things. 

So I read that like, just barely. I was just like, I think I need to read these verses. And then I saw that it actually says crime. And I’m just like, oh my goodness, this is hard. This is a harsh language. 

And if we don’t talk to a loving God about these kinds of things, then what we’re left with is the world’s view and what we’ve been taught about criminals, and about crime, and about sin and abomination, which is very shaming and keeps us in this idea that we are absolutely horrible criminals doing something that is most abominable before God. 

Sara: Yeah. And so I want a follow up question with this, because so then what? Like what do we do? What are you saying? What do you mean? Because, yeah, that is rough. And I’ve heard people look at this scripture and say, well, we’ve made it mean that he’s talking about sexual sin, but what he’s really talking about is forsaking the ministry. 

And that kind of helps with the sexual shame a little bit, but then it just moves the shame to someone who forsakes the ministry. And then you make it mean, you know, maybe someone can interpret that as I left my mission early and so he’s talking to me, right? And so the shame is still there, even if we shift it a little bit. So that’s hard to sit with. 

Tyson: And this is kind of the point. It’s like, I wish I could go back to some of my notes because I remember even talking with God about this. I was like, this is kind of harsh. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: How do we reconcile this? How do we interpret this in a way that communicates thy love? And part of me, I want everyone to recognize that when we read scriptures like this, these are words coming from a father to his son. And this is coming from a prophet of God, who is also a man. 

Sara: Yes, I like that you’re bringing this up. 

Tyson: Because if we even read some of the chapter headings, like the commandments of Alma to his son, Corianton. If we read this as a conversation between a father and a son, a father who grew up from another prophet who probably taught him right from wrong and had these traditional views of crime, and he didn’t know that sin was woundedness. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: He didn’t translate it like this. And my imagining is that Corianton felt absolutely horrible from hearing this. And we might say, okay, at times, and I will tell you and I will share that at times the Lord has talked to me in harsh ways when I asked for it. It’s like I recently did a podcast on this. I was just like, I opened the door and I said, “Lord, chastise me. Let me have it.” And he let me have it in very harsh words. 

But knowing that it came from a voice of love, changes the game. Knowing that it’s like, okay, I just want you to feel the gravity of this. But know that there’s nothing that changes in terms of your worthiness and the way that I see you, my eternal love. The grand perspective is that I’ve already seen the video clip of you winning the game, and so I know that you’re going to win. But right now you think you fumbled the ball. 

And right now we’re watching the game and there’s fumble after fumble. But if we kind of take that eternal view with God and say, oh, even though there’s a lot of fumbles here, we know that we’re going to win. We know that the end is clear. And so when we view it from this eternal love, man, you can reread the scriptures, and I would just invite everyone to just talk to God about that. 

Sara: Yeah. Yeah, what I’m hearing you say is there’s a spiritual maturity aspect here where we get to look at things and ask God about them. And not just maybe take it for how we interpret it. And what I’m also hearing you say is this is between a father and a son, the words from this father to this son, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s from God. 

Now, is that horrible of me to say? For some people, they might take that as whatever. But this was his opinion and it got written down. 

Tyson: Yeah. 

Sara: And now we’re reading it. And just like, I mean, anyone who’s done a thorough study of the Bible knows that there’s stuff that’s written down that we think about differently today or that we apply differently today or we leave some stuff out. We’re like, that’s not really the God that I’m knowing, in a way that’s not just like picking right from wrong, but in a way that’s us genuinely trying to come to know goodness and love. Are we using the scriptures for our own good? Or are we using them to beat ourselves up. 

Tyson: Right. And if you take the scriptures at face value and you see them as the law and they don’t make you feel good, like they don’t bring you closer to Him, in fact they bring about shame, then it’s like, wait, we’ve got to question that. We’ve got to say, wait. Is this what God intends with His word? Is this what he wants? 

I love it when I come up to these kinds of scriptures and it rubs me wrong and I’m just like, oh, there’s more here that I need to uncover. Or there’s something here that I can talk with the Lord about. And one of my favorite things to do is to have a conversation with God through writing. 

Sara: So good. 

Tyson: Typing it out. It’s my most favorite method of prayer and I’ve received the most revelation from doing this. It’s like just to type out the question, you know, Heavenly Father, this does not bring me joy or closeness with you. In fact, it creates a disconnect. 

Sara: Yes. 

Tyson: So what does this really mean? Tell me. Teach me. And then you write down the thoughts that come. Don’t question it. Don’t think, is this me? Is this God? Just write down what comes as a result of asking the question. 

Sara: Yes, and this is that level of spirituality and it’s like, I don’t know if I love the term spiritual maturity. But it’s really not just taking things at face value. And do I trust myself enough to really get answers from God? 

I can see this being really distressing for people who are like, I don’t trust myself enough to do that. And how can I trust? Like if I read this scripture and it makes me feel like garbage, how do I know if that’s not from God? Or maybe people with more scrupulous tendencies around religion, I can see that being really distressing and hard. 

Tyson: Well, not only that, but if we are operating from the place of sin is a criminal and I’m a criminal and I deserve to be punished, and I’m not worthy. Sin is also associated with cleanliness and uncleanliness. And that means I’m not even worthy of receiving any kind of guidance or direction. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: And so we can operate from this place of just like, okay, I want to read the scriptures. I want to receive insight, but there’s this gap. There’s this feeling that’s just like I’m just not worthy to receive promptings from the Holy Ghost. And to that, I say, BS. 

Sara: Yes. I just talked about this. And I did an episode on, because I don’t talk about spirituality very much in the podcast, but I just did an episode on this where I talk about an experience I had meditating where I just realized and had this big spiritual awakening. It’s so simple when I say it out loud, but it was so transformative for me. 

I don’t have to do anything. God is just there. God is just there. And the only thing keeping me from that wisdom, and that goodness, and that love are the thoughts that I have about myself and the shame that I have about myself. 

Tyson: Right. Our inherent identity, our innate selves is love, is connection. And anything outside of that is what the world has taught us that is not in alignment with that truth. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: So another definition that I like to think about in terms of sin is disconnection and separation. So sometimes when I’m reading through the scriptures and I see the word sin, I’ll either say it’s woundedness or separation. And both of those help me because, to me, the goal is relationship. 

So the great commandment that Christ says, love God with all your heart, mind and strength. Love your neighbor as thyself, right? So we have these three categories. We’ve got God, our relationship to God, relationship to other people, and relationship to self. And if the goal is relationship, then if I do something and it lessens one of these three, then it’s not the right path. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: So, for example, I think a lot of times we might be like, I’m going to sacrifice what I want to do in order to do what someone else wants to do, right? But if the goal is relationship, I do not discount my own desires, my own wants, my own needs. And more so it’s like, okay, if that’s the goal is relationship, I’m just trying to heal. I’m just trying to give what is needed to all parties and to align with God, align with other people, align with myself, and what if that’s possible? 

What if I just entertain the idea that I can create love and relationship and connection with all parties at all times? And if I look at pornography, then it’s like, okay, is that creating separation? Do I like this result? 

Sara: Yeah, right. 

Tyson: Okay, no I don’t. Then it’s like, okay, now let’s work on it. Let’s work on it from the place of you are not bad for looking at it. You’re not a horrible human. You’re not this criminal that deserves punishment, that deserves separation from God. That’s the last thing that he wants to do with you. 

Sara: Yes. 

Tyson: But rather, you are a beloved son or daughter. And as a parent, as a heavenly parent, it’s like I am always for you. Always fighting for you. Always trying to reach you. Always trying to carry you. Always there. And if you’re willing, at any moment in time, the moment that you pause and be still, I will be there and you can hear me. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: I will be in the room with you. Because guess what? I was in the room with you when you looked. And I wasn’t even judging you. 

Sara: You’re okay. 

Tyson: You’re okay, you’re just hurting. 

Sara: Yes. I love, love, love, love that woundedness and separation, right? And if we think about how we’re going to treat someone who was wounded, like think about your kid, if they’re wounded, what are you going to do? 

Are you going to be like, sorry you fell out of that tree, you’re just going to have to deal with that broken arm on your own? No, right? You’re like, oh my gosh, come here. I’m so sorry that happened. Let’s fix it. Let me love on it. Let me take care of you. 

If it’s separated, if your kid is separated from you, you want to pull them in. Hey, what’s going on? How can I help you? Listen to me? Let me listen to you. 

Tyson: It’s like if your kid was the only kid at the playground, and they were all alone and no one wanted to play with them, what kind of emotion does that bring out in you? Does it bring out, I want to judge you, you’re a horrible person? I can’t believe you’re alone, you’re a loser. No. It’s the exact opposite. It’s like, oh my goodness, my child, they’re all alone. 

And among all the things that God said when He created the world, everything that He said on every single day, the separation of the darkness and lightness, it is good. The plants, it is good. The animals, it is good. Is it good for a man to be alone? It is not good. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: That is the only thing that he said was not good. And so what does that mean? What does that mean for us? It’s like, okay, separation, loneliness, we are all meant to be connected to help each other, to move through life together, to support. And when he sees loneliness, when he sees you’re alone, he’s there because he wants to be there. He wants to help you. 

Sara: Yeah, so good. I have worked with so many clients that I ask them, “Why do you want to quit porn?” And they say something like, so I can be close to God again. And then we work through that. And they realize, and they have these experiences where they’re so close to God, even though they haven’t fixed any of the porn usage. 

And what they find isn’t that now they’re like, oh, sweet, now I don’t have to quit porn. They find that they’re much more able and it’s a lot easier to quit porn. And not as pressure filled, not as anxiety filled, not as shame filled. It doesn’t make them go into tons of justification. And they’re like, oh, I don’t even have to quit to be close to God? He’s just here? 

Tyson: It’s the most freeing thing in the world, to be able to know that you’re loved. And I just want to highlight because you introduced kind of this idea of how do we hold on to this sense of right and wrong? That we have values, we have things that we want to hold onto, but still go along this idea of love and no matter what we do, we’re okay. 

And one thing that I’ll just mention is that when we look at any kind of concept through the lens of maybe a spectrum, there’s always going to be extremes, right? And there’s this guy, Jared Halverson, and he does this podcast and he has this concept he calls proving contraries, is what he calls it. And it’s this idea of the spectrum. It’s this idea that lets say, for example, faith and works, right? These are two different kinds of polar opposites. 

We can operate from the place of full faith and it’s like that’s all we think because we just believe and it’s going to happen. And this is kind of where manifestations come from. It’s just like, okay, I’m just going to believe that life is going to be amazing. And I’m going to be relieved of porn if I just believe. And then like, nothing happens. 

And then there’s the side of work, which is more so like, all work, hustle, hustle, hustle. I’m going to work to the bone. I’m going to grind this out and that’s the way I’m going to operate. Also not very healthy, not very helpful. 

And so the idea is that some of you listening may be on the faith side, may be on the all love, everything love, all the things so it’s like there’s no problems. And we need to balance that out with there’s laws, there’s values, there’s things that I want you to honor and obey, mainly because I want you to have joy. And I want you to know that if you follow these commandments, that you will be more in the joy. 

And so if we swing to just one side or the other, some of you might need the message of the extreme commandments because you’re too far into the love. But for the most part, most of us we’re on so much like, follow the commandments, follow the commands, follow the commandments. And we need the extreme message of love thyself extremely because you are so imbalanced. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: And once you get this message and I say to like, right now, listen. You are worthy. You are forgiven. You are loved, unconditionally, eternally. God sees the whole picture. You just messed up 20 minutes ago. You just looked again. Love. Love, love, love and now what we have here is we have a little bit of a balance and you can actually receive and know that God has been with you the entire time in the arms of his love, that you cannot escape. 

Sara: Yeah, so good. One of my big values is that we’re result focused. And so we’re always like, what’s going to get us the best result, the best result, the best result? And so when we talk about redefining sin and getting rid of shame, it’s not just because shame sucks to feel. But it’s because it genuinely gets us the best results. 

The reason there’s a lot of success with this method is because the actions that come from shame are just not good actions. So I talked about the model before, I’ll talk about it again some other time. But if you don’t know the model, that’s fine. But the idea is just that your emotions are going to create your actions. 

And so if you want good results, you need to make sure that you’re having emotions that are helping you get that best result. And so we’re not just decreasing shame because it sucks to feel and we just want to feel better, but because you genuinely cannot change from a place of hurting, of hating yourself. You can’t. 

Tyson: Yeah. 

Sara: You can’t quit porn from a place of shame, because shame leads to hiding, and avoiding, and spiraling, and all the things. 

Tyson: And all the things. 

Sara: Right? And so we’re going to find an emotion that helps you more. Sometimes that emotion is pure worthiness. A lot of times that’s a great one. Sometimes maybe it’s just a little bit more commitment, like we need to generate some more commitment. Whatever that emotion is, on whatever spectrum, it can’t be shame because shame is not going to get you there. 

Tyson: Well, in you mentioning that, one thing that I’m reminded of and that I had this thought. I remember reading that there’s this researcher who kind of created a spectrum of emotions and associated that with frequencies. So, it’s like here’s the frequency of these emotions. 

Sara: Is it Abraham Hicks? Is that who it was?

Tyson: She may have mentioned it, but that’s not where I got it from. Richard Friedman maybe, I don’t know. But at the bottom of this scale is shame. Like it’s the lowest. It’s the lowest frequency out of all the emotions that they tracked and measured. And at the highest is enlightenment. 

And there’s below it maybe like joy, love, gratitude. Those are the higher frequency emotions. And I just want to highlight that those higher emotions, those labels that we give those emotions are associated with the “fruits of the spirit” that we read in Galatians 522. 

It’s like fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, long serving, gentleness, goodness, faith. It’s like all these wonderful, positive emotions. Hey, if God is going to speak to us, it’s most likely going to be in that realm. Like, if we create those emotions, if we generate those, if we get into a place where we can actually be still and be in those emotions. 

Shame, it’s not going to be there. But the part that I have found to be really powerful is that God created all emotion. And I know that that sounds really weird when you think about it like this. And it was kind of a mind flip for me because I was like, wait, so God created fear? He always tells us to fear not, what’s the deal? What gives? 

And if shame is so bad and I shouldn’t be feeling it, then what gives there too? And all of you, if you don’t know this, whatever you resist persists. So if you resist shame, if you think that it’s bad and that it’s horrible and that I shouldn’t be feeling this, then you create more of it. It’s the weirdest thing. It’s almost like why does it have to be designed this way? It’s just how it works. 

Sara: I’m so glad you bring this up, absolutely. 

Tyson: And so what I have found and what is a little freeing to me is to recognize that within shame is the opposite emotion. Like if I can walk through shame, what I see within and on the other side of that is enlightenment, is the highest of highs. 

And when I walk through fear, when I walk through doubt, when I actually understand it, let’s Imagine as though shame, this feeling was a person in your internal village, right? Let’s say you’ve got this internal village inside of you. You’ve got all the characters. If you’ve seen Inside Out from Disney, you might reference that. It’s like we’ve got joy, we’ve got sadness, we’ve got anger, we’ve got disgust, we’ve got shame, we’ve got fear. 

We’ve got all these people in our village and they also have emotions. They also have feelings, thoughts and experiences. And maybe if we were to actually talk with shame and heal it, then what we’d find on the other side is the most transformative relationship. And it’s almost like every single one of these emotions, if you’re stuck in some regard, it’s because this emotion is generating this action if we go back to the model. 

Sara: Yeah. 

Tyson: And these feelings inside of you, what they need is healing. They’re wounded. 

Sara: What a great circle around to sin being woundedness. Shame is just woundedness, and how we speak to that shame really matters. 

Tyson: We’re all just a bunch of wounded people walking around. And life is hard, and if we don’t give ourselves space and actually listen like a good friend, or a good parent, a loving parent, we’re just going to maintain where we’ve always been. We’re not going to get the results that we want. 

And so can we show ourselves compassion, which is why I have devoted so much more time to this idea of self-love and identity. Because if you really understand, if you really understand that love, that it’s for you, and also understand your inherent identity, then it’s like that creates so much opportunity for you to just progress in any and every area of life. 

Sara: It exponentiates it. 

Tyson: Yeah. 

Sara: You feel better. 

Tyson: Yeah. 

Sara: You feel better, and then you can help other people a lot more too. 

Tyson: Right. Right. 

Sara: So good, Tyson. Thank you so much. You had a lot of really good stuff. I love it. Okay, well, how can our listeners get more of you, hear more from you, where can they find you? 

Tyson: Well, since you’re listening to a podcast, you must like to listen to podcasts. And so I think I’ll just invite you to go to The Inherent Identity Podcast, and that’s where you can find me. Just go there, listen to more of me if you liked this. And then on that podcast I can show you where else you can go. 

Sara: So good. Yes, yes if you really are enjoying Tyson, which who wouldn’t be, go and listen to his podcast and get some more help with this inherent worthiness stuff. So good. Thank you so much for coming on today. 

Tyson: Thank you, Sara, it’s been awesome. 

Sara: Okay, you guys have a great week. We’ll talk to you later, bye bye. 

Tyson: Bye. 

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