What are the things you’re working towards and dreaming about for your life? Whether it’s related to shifting your porn habit, finding the love of your life, traveling around the world, or anything else, how are you going to guarantee the result you want?
Too many people have huge dreams that they unintentionally quit ahead of time on, because of their conditional commitment to it. They tell themselves they’ll bring their dreams to reality if everything goes right, as long as it doesn’t take too much effort, or if it’s easy. And if these statements sound familiar, you’re in the right place.
Tune in this week as I show you why conditional commitment will always stop you in your tracks, and why practicing unconditional commitment is a game-changer when it comes to changing your habits. You’ll discover why all goals require unconditional commitment, and how to start thinking about what you want in life through this lens.
One of the most transformative concepts that I’ve learned and that I teach my clients is the 50-50 of life. It’s the principle that life is always 50% positive and 50% negative, and that when we can accept this reality, we can truly thrive. And this week, I’m taking it a step further by applying this rule to us as individuals.
The truth is that as humans, we hold the duality of both good AND bad. We didn’t come to Earth to be perfect. We came to experience all of humanity, which inevitably means making mistakes, learning, and overcoming struggles. And yet, I watch my clients take their unwanted porn use and make this habit mean everything about them as a person.
Listen in this week as I offer how the 50-50 principle can be an incredibly powerful tool when we apply it to ourselves. I’m showing you what happens when we resist this fact, what happens when we can truly allow for our human duality, and I’m also giving you an exercise to...
One thing that I hear often from my clients in doing our work together is the statement, “It’s easier to give in to my urges.” I won’t argue that sitting with an urge isn’t hard or uncomfortable, it most definitely is. But your brain telling you that it’s just easier to give in to your urge to watch porn is a lie.
This week, I’m introducing you to a concept called hard vs. harder. You might be framing your work to overcome porn with the question, “Is it going to be hard? Is it going to take too much energy and effort?” The truth is, it will be hard, but it’ll be even harder to continue to give in, to stay stuck for even a day longer, riddled with shame, feeling unproductive, lost, and lonely.
Join me this week as I invite you to choose a hard that gets you where you want to be. Making any habit change is going to guarantee discomfort, but I’m showing you how to call your brain out on the lie that it’s...
One thing my clients often tell me is that their urges feel especially challenging at certain times of day, days of the week, or even in certain places. Maybe you notice the urge to watch pornography on work trips, when your family goes out of town, or on a work break on a certain day of the week. This is completely normal.
Our brains are brilliant in that they remember instances of dopamine hits, but you don’t have to let your lower brain dictate your life. Although it feels like it, your urges aren’t dangerous and they aren’t a problem. And one practical skill that will make your urges easier to handle is planning ahead of time.
Listen in this week as I offer my tips for building the skill of planning ahead of time. You’ll discover why this is such an integral part of being intentional about how you live your life, what happens when decision fatigue kicks in, and what to look out for as you begin practicing planning ahead of time.
My guest on the show this week is one of my greatest teachers in this realm of sexuality. I honestly wouldn’t be doing the work I do today if I hadn’t had the opportunity to work with her, so I’m honored to have her here and excited for you to hear everything she has to share with us.
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a psychologist and teacher who helps people specifically in the LDS space who are working through their sexuality. She is the expert on coaching people in ways that allow them to be capable of both emotionally and physically intimate relationships, and this week, we’re diving into all the ways our sexuality can be a force for good.
If you currently believe your sexuality is morally wrong, or have bought into all the ways sexuality gets a bad rap, join us on this episode. Jennifer is dropping some serious gems around how we frame our human sexuality in unhelpful ways, the keys to creating an intimate partnership that feels amazing, and...
When it comes to overcoming unwanted porn use, how I often see my clients starting out this journey is with force. They approach this work by trying to intensely change who they are, making themselves comply with guilt and shame, and this simply doesn’t ever work in their favor.
Instead, this week, I’m inviting you to imagine that you’re healing a broken wound with love and patience. The root cause of porn use is different for everyone. Some start using it after a bad divorce or to deal with stress, and for others, it’s a lack of self-trust or a history of trauma. And in every case, healing is the answer.
Tune in this week as I show you how healing is the key to getting to the root of your porn habit. Overcoming pornography is not something you can force yourself through, and I’m showing you the reason so many people start here, and how it halts your progress.
If you’ve been thinking about joining Overcome Pornography for Good,...
Our sexuality as humans is a completely normal, natural part of development. And yet, something I’m always getting emails and questions about is the sexual shame that so many people experience, and it genuinely breaks my heart.
We have this beautiful part of ourselves that we can keep safe and sacred, and this week, I want to offer that you do not have to feel horrible about it. I watch the unnecessary suffering and the consequent problems sexual shame brings up, especially with pornography. So today, my message to you is that we are sexual beings, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Listen in this week as I urge you to drop your sexual shame, and learn why demonizing our sexuality leads to more problems. I’m showing you why this is the key to quitting porn for good, and how accepting your sexuality opens you up to so much more peace and calm.
If you’ve been thinking about joining Overcome Pornography for Good, this is your chance to sign...
If there’s one trap that keeps my clients stuck in their attempts to quit viewing pornography, it’s slipping up and staying there. They tell themselves quitting isn’t on the cards for them, that they’re addicted to porn, and that they can’t change.
A key component of the work I teach is all about how failure is required on your journey to quitting porn. But there are two types of failure that I see: one that helps you gradually get better by using failure as data, and one that has you not trying at all because you know failure is inevitable.
If you’ve heard me say you have to fail, and you’ve interpreted that to mean it’s not worth trying, listen in closely this week. I’m sharing the difference between progressive failure and justification failure, why practicing the former will have you surprised at how much faster you’ll be able to quit, and showing you how to apply this concept to other areas of...
For most of us, we’ve grown up with the message that failure in any capacity is to be avoided at all costs. We’re taught that failure is what keeps us from succeeding, so what I’m offering to you this week might be a little brain-scrambling, but stick with me.
In this episode, I’m inviting you to be willing to fail over and over again. The truth is that your success at quitting porn is literally built on your ability to fail and get back up to try again. The more tolerance you have for failure and slip-ups, the quicker you’ll succeed at overcoming the habit, and I’m showing you why this week.
Tune in this week to discover what failure tolerance means, and why it’s the key to success in any area of your life. I’m showing you what tends to happen when you resist and try to avoid failure, and why my clients who are willing to fail are the quickest to turn their lives around.
I have amazing news. If you...
If you currently believe you’ve struggled with porn for too long and that you’ll never be able to overcome it, this episode is your opportunity to find all the evidence you need for why you can quit. This week, I’m introducing you to my client, Quinn Felix, and he’s truly an example of what’s possible for you.
At 64, Quinn had struggled with porn for over 50 years, and his addiction affected his job, family, and everyday life. He used porn as a way to buffer over some difficult life events, and when he did try to quit, his attempts were riddled with willpower and white-knuckling. But his story is a journey from hopelessness to hope and a new life, and he’s letting us in on it all this week.
Tune in this week as Quinn exemplifies how your past is not a reflection of your future and what's possible for you to accomplish. He’s sharing how our work together has created breakthroughs and transformations for him, and how, at 64,...